Result!

I know why baking has become so important to me recently.  It's all about the process and my love of it and it's a great stress reliever.  It all starts with the idea.  Then the planning and shopping for ingredients.  Next is preparation and assembly.  And finally, here is the end result of yesterday's endeavours:

Ta daaaa!  Ambery perfection.

About half way through the cooking time, the aroma wafting through my kitchen was tantalisingly irresistible.  Cooking satisfies my senses and I'm not sure why I let baking slip over the past year.  At one time I used to bake every Sunday.  It demands time and effort for sure.  Since I lived with a French family in Lyon, all I had to think about was the harp and my studies - I didn't have to do the cleaning, cooking and gardening and worry about paying the bills.  Towards the end of my studies, before I got my job in Cape Town, I was practicing for 6-7 hours a day - good times!!  In Lyon, cooking was like breathing.  My legendary teacher Germaine was another fine cook and gourmand and her passion for food was on a par with her passion for music and for life.  After my four years studying in Manchester and becoming independent and able to take care of myself, or so I thought, moving to France was a real eye opener.  How green I was!  I thought I knew how to play the harp and how to cook - I had a lot to learn!   I remember clearly learning to separate eggs and the fascination I felt at discovering you could beat them into a foamy amalgamation to be incorporated into all sorts of culinary delights.

There is an air of nostalgia about my baking - I have been using this foolproof recipe for over 20 years and it's a crowd pleaser.  I love how it has only 4 ingredients.  I enjoyed 2 pieces yesterday and it felt a whole lot better than trashy chocolate...

Stiff snowy peaks - "battre les blancs en neige"

In the tin

Out of the oven

Mmmmmm

Putting myself out there

I had a lovely busy relaxing day yesterday and this morning my batteries feel recharged again.  Good job as I have a long to do list to set me up for next week's busyness.  

As I take stock this morning ahead of my harp week, I still can't quite believe my success or failure as a harpist depends on my networking skills and my ability to appear high up on search engines!  My new website has been up and running for 9 months or so (so it's already old I suppose) and it's only this week that I started appearing in the godmother of all search engines.  I am guessing that's down to blogging?  So I'm going to keep going with that as I do like to express myself through the written word.  

I don't like game playing and often that's what this business feels like.  In my research I noticed several harpists whose names came up first.  At the risk of sounding unprofessional, I wouldn't touch them with a bargepole.  Yet they have keenly honed marketing skills and I can see how easy it would be to fall for them.  Unless people meet me, hear me and see me play, I don't think I stand a chance.

I have decided I'm not willing to pay to play at wedding fairs for the time being.  Considering my wedding and background music fees and following my experience at recent fairs, the return just isn't worth it at the moment and, truth be told, I feel slightly resentful about paying to go to work on top of travelling time and expenses.  I always get positive reactions from prospective clients and suppliers when I play at fairs, so come on organisers - invite your skilled and highly trained musicians to give your fair a touch of class with beautiful live music, and maybe even consider paying their travelling costs!  I feel comfortable that my prices are fair and affordable for the high quality level of service I offer - if you book me you get 100% (probably more actually!) and I only do one wedding a day - I would self-destruct if I did more than one job!  I'm happy to invest in my business if it leads to more harp work for me, and that's a challenge.  It's about knowing my worth, keeping my integrity and sticking to my guns, and eventually the right doors will open if they're meant to.

I am now comfortably nestled in my attic as I type this post, and yesterday I heard a cuckoo in the woods nearby.  As I looked up just now, a duck flew busily overhead.  After a draining week, I faithfully did my Pilates last night and finally my exercise routine is paying off.  I felt stronger in my core and legs for the first time ever.  Being in this space again and imagining my bathtub under the stars fills me with excitement and hope, and I plan to resume my blissful bedroom project before I need a stair lift!!!  Right, I'm off to bake a cake.  It's my French landlady's recipe and is the most amazing cake - it's like eating a cloud...

The inspiring view from my writing desk .  Yes, 5 Velux windows in my customary spirit of generosity and abundance (7 would've been a REALLY good number...)

Creativity 2 - having my cake and eating it

My cake baking process started by shelling 350g pistachios.  As enjoyable as it was, it is a labour of love, and that's what cooking is.  As I had quite a lot to do today, the process went on and off all day.  Baking had been on my mind since last week so I knew I had to listen to that voice.  I carefully measured out my ingredients, zested and squeezed my lemons, greased my tin and separated 4 eggs.  Finally I had a fragrant pale green speckled batter to put in the oven.  When the cooking and cooling time was over, I carefully unmoulded my long awaited lovingly cosseted prize, and this happened:

Imperfection

You can imagine my disappointment!  I was reminded why I hadn't baked for quite a while - if it wasn't perfect, what's the point?  How was I going to give THAT to people?  Then I got creative again, I could dot the leftover pistachio halves on top along with a few blueberries, maybe some slices of orange - make a feature out of a **** up and all that.  

As soon as my cake came out of the oven, I threw in some chicken with garlic, honey and lemon, made an orange salad, cooked some asparagus, it was definitely a cook fest and I've got that out of my system for now.  I didn't get my practice done, this felt more important today, a reminder of how many parallels there are between cooking and music - one false pinch and it's ruined, or maybe that's where genius lies, in that extra accidental pinch.  There is also an element of taking care of myself.  As I read the recipe I noticed it was Moroccan influenced and that was when I realised the underlying theme.  A couple of years ago I had a thing about Spain and had to eat Spanish food.  A lot.  For about a month.  Tapas, pimentos, chorizo (how DO you say that?  At the moment I'm saying "chorit-zho" and not "choreeeee-zo") and I experimented with a variety of paella recipes. I listened to Flamenco music and watched Almodovar films.  I needed a holiday.  I couldn't get to Spain so I brought Spain to Yorkshire.  Soon I might make a tagine and get some preserved lemons, harissa, rose water...

Anyway, I just scraped the (best) bits from the bottom of the tin and it tastes absolutely amazing!

Creativity

It's only Thursday and already it's been a long week.  After yesterday's shift with its ups and downs (I feared for my hands on 3 occasions), I feel the need for a creative feed, so in and amongst today's busyness I have planned a baking session.  I love cooking and baking and when I lived in France, I really got into it, and loved the idea of cooking as nurturing not to mention the creative expressive side of it.  My landlady was a fantastic home cook with a strong cookery heritage (her parents owned and ran a charcuterie/traiteur in Lyon) and I had never tasted such deliciousness before I savoured her cooking.  She generously shared her recipes and knowledge with me, except for a few closely guarded family secrets, and weekends were very much based around lengthy family gatherings over food.  I discovered flavours I never knew and most of all the feeling of a loving comforting hug from food that I'd never had before.  Needless to say, I put on 3 stone when I lived in Lyon, finding any excuse  (homesickness was a good one) to dig into that pot of Nutella and sampling the delights of the local patisserie!  I always tried to recreate those flavours which took me to another dimension and I think I'm a good cook, but of course I haven't managed to relive that experience.  

I've just read through the recipe for the cake I'm going to bake and I'm already excited about the process!  I don't know why I feel guilty about making time in my day to do this (I SHOULD be working) and so to appease the guilt I'm going to take half the cake to my mechanic tomorrow, and maybe some to the factory if I'm working.  I've wanted to do this for a long time but never dared to - what if they don't like it, what if they think I'm trying to get out of paying my bill etc etc!!  It's a pistachio and orange cake but I'm going to try it with lemon as I prefer that combination.  I like putting my own spin on things.

This week I've watched a couple of new episodes of Chef's Table on Netflix.  I LOVE this series, it's so beautifully filmed and it captures the essence of what food (and music) is about with an evocative nostalgia.  I don't know why I was reluctant about watching the episode featuring Christina Tosi but it was amazing - crack pie for goodness sake!!  I often get a tear in my eye watching Chef's Table, that tangible passion they have about what they do and the effect their creation has on people.  I feel inspired - time to get my apron on.

My cake will NOT look like this, and that's ok!